Friday, October 16, 2009

Fun Things To Do In Church

Fun Things To Do In Church.

Find an empty seat, and ask the person next to it: "Is this seat SAVED?"

When attendance is taken, sign on fake names like "Hugh G. Rection" and "Oliver Klozoff".

Wear an ankh or a new-age crystal pendant.

When the choir sings, roll your eyes and grumble: "Oh, Christ! Are they gonna do another SONG?"

Make up your own words to the songs.

At a church dinner, scoop up a forkful of mashed potatoes. Announce that you can see an image of Jesus.

Mark places in the Bible or hymnal with religious-themed Far Side cartoons.

Turn in the Bible to the Ten Commandments (Exodus 20: 3-17). Draw in asterisks and write exceptions at the bottom of the page.

Ask someone what they think about the Book of Peleponnesians. After they tell you, inform them that there is no Book of Peleponnesians.

Spread the word that there'll be a rave party at the address of the church next Saturday at midnight.

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